Facebook : 4/28/13 – ”Sorry but ur password must contain an uppercase letter,a number ,a haiku,a gang sign,a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin.” T.A.
Facebook : 4/21/13 – Behind every successful woman, is a pack of hating hoes.. - T.
Facebook : 4/9/13 – My retinas were burned by the white-hot-heat from the arms and legs of White folks today. Much brighter than the sun. Please pray for my rods and cones. – C.D
Facebook: 3/15/13 – from SXSW – Can you say “generation gap”? I just want to see Juelz Santana; but i have to stand thru Ghostface Killah. I think someone just offered me a blunt. What tha? – L.M
Facebook: 3/6/13 - Another NYC FIRST – while walking up Essex Street, a very old Hassidic man asked me, “How much?”
Yeah. – C.D
Facebook: 2/3/13 – “Great, he’s kicked the ball. Now the balls’ over there. That man has it now. That’s an interesting development. Maybe he’ll kick the ball. He has indeed, and apparently that deserves a round of applause.” -M.B.
Facebook: 2/2/13- “So what’s up wit me and you Ms. Lewis, can we exchange numbers?” Said a former student, now 23 who just hit on me at the gas station. Say whaaaat!?! My response, “Boy pump your brakes and go pump your gas & tell your mama I said hi.” #Aforeffortkid# S.L.
Facebook: 2/1/13 – They sell Harvard shirts at Target so that’s a good way to save $ 399,984.05. – J.B
Facebook : 1/17/12 Funny story today lol I had a meeting with an extremely beautiful blond Russian female model today at a Starbucks in the city, she was so beautiful that a group of Italian business men were offended lol i say Italian because I overheard one say to his friends with a low voice, ” What is she doing with an egg plant ” hhahhahahah So you know i could not resist saying to them ,” After coffee we are going Home to make a Sicilian POW!!!!…. it was fun watching them shrink after. S.C
Facebook : 1/14/13 A “little people” posting (aka children 7yrs and younger)…SCENE — I’m taking the garbage to the shoot and run into one of my “little” neighbors.
me: Hi Sweetie how was your day
her age 7: Hi. Good, you wear glasses?
me: (forgetting I had on my specs): yes, as miss gia is getting older my eyes are not what they used to be.
her: you look smart. your glasses make you look like you know a lot.
me: really (I said with a laugh) well thank you. I do feel smarter wearing because I can see better.
WAIT FOR IT…BEST PART…
her: “you should take a picture and put it on FACEBOOK so people know you look smart!”
me: (TOTALLY stunned and no real comeback except) “OKAY!”. (and then as if she just dropped the mic the kid walks into her apartment) - G.V.
Facebook : 1/14/13 – Newark police: Sitting in your car with your police lights flashing in troubled areas don’t mean SHIT! These young boys out here with GUNS ain’t scared of no police lights. GET OFF YO ASS and patrol. And get that jelly doughnut off your lips! Kids going BANANAS out here!! – R.A.
Facebook : 1/13/13 – Why is this lady and her dude sitting in the cafe with panty and boxer in winter coats? The heart of the winter! I mean seriously, is there some Halloween event going on? K.P.J
Facebook: 12/24/12 – If you don’t already hate people….the mall is a great place to start today. – J.B.
Facebook: 12/20/1212 – Tonight as the clock strikes midnight in Europe and the East Coast, people should post that the lights are flickering, the earth is shaking and there are fires in the distance. Then go mysteriously silent. G.T.
Facebook : – I’m sorry I offended you when I called you a bitch, I honestly thought you knew. – R.C.
Facebook : 12/18/12 – Just bought 40 copies of Justin Bieber’s latest CD as Christmas presents for all those who really annoyed me throughout 2012 – J.B.
Facebook : 12/11/12 – Have you ever looked at someone and thought …Yep…they def have a person locked in a basement. J.B.